Trials and Such

As you know, Dave's job loss in Montgomery and our subsequent move to Massachusetts was a trying time for our family (see "Surgery", May 5th posting). I realized today that I hadn't given you the full picture of the whole experience, in fact I left out a very important part of it.
For several months before Dave lost his job, I had the feeling that something very big was going to happen to our family. I somehow knew that we would be moving which was ridiculous because we had no intention of moving and Dave's job was going quite well at that time but I couldn't shake that feeling.
For a while I thought that my uneasiness may have been due to Hurricane Katrina. Katrina had a big effect on our community even though we only got a few sprinkles from the actual hurricane itself. The Red Cross set up their headquarters for the relief efforts there and we had some red cross workers attending our ward. Many refuges ended up there and I will never forget the long line of FEMA trailers going down the highway. Our stake spent several weekends helping with clean up in Mississippi, as did many of the churches in the area. Then I realized that I started feeling uneasy before the hurricane and that feeling continued for many months afterward. I even had to stop myself from telling people that we would be moving and when applying for Alyssa to attend the magnet school, I didn't care that she only made the waiting list.
It was around this time, February 2006, that I read an article in the Ensign, read here. It is an article by James E. Faust about trials. I remember turning to Dave and asking, "Where are our trials?" I counsel you never to do that. At the time, however, things were going very well for us. We were financially secure, healthy, happy in our ward, the kids seemed to be happy and, other than the occasional squabble and a little more than occasional messy rooms, they were (are) all pretty terrific people.
Literally within weeks Dave had lost his job and as you read in the earlier post, we were set upon by many difficulties in the coming months. It felt a little like the roof had caved in but I could never forget that I had been prepared for it. I knew that Heavenly Father knew that I didn't like change and blessed me with that premonition because He loves me. He couldn't take away our trials. We need our trials, we should expect to have trials, because without them we couldn't progress the way we need to progress. Because of that I didn't feel angry or try to blame Him or lose my faith in any way.
That love was shown not only by that emotional preparation I had but also through the tremendous acts of service we witnessed on our behalf, both in Montgomery and after the move to Massachusetts, and continuing today. We have been privileged to know some of the most Christlike people I could ever hope to know. We have been awed by their examples and humbled to know how much we owe to them and how far we have to go to be like them. If we had not had our trials we would not have known the acts of service because these are people who do not trumpet their own horns.
I have to say as trials go, an unexpected job loss and a broken ankle aren't too bad, I think that it was that and all the other little things piled up on each other that made it so difficult. It well may be that we have greater trials in our future, that these smaller ones were just to prepare us for the biggies, or maybe this is as bad as it gets, I just don't know. What I do know is that this is life. Trials or not, big or small, I know that there are many terrific people in the world, that my family loves me, that my Heavenly Father loves me as He does all of us, and with that knowledge I can handle whatever comes my way.
Last October Conference, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin gave a great talk that just boosts my spirits. I try to remember it whenever I feel grouchy, which I am ashamed to say, is way too often. Watch here.

Reviving My Brain

I realized when I had my surgery that I would have a lot of free time this summer, in fact I knew that I would get pretty dang bored and I don't handle boredom well. When I originally fell and broke my ankle, the injury was pretty traumatic and so I was kept on a lot of pain medication and was in the twilight zone for a long time. This time I feel good, better even than before my surgery which is making this enforced bed rest, or almost bed rest, very tedious indeed. I have a lot of books to read for my book blog, in fact there are 8 sitting up in my room right now, but even I can't read all the time. I have watched more tv than I want and even then it's not that much. Most tv is pretty boring however I am thrilled that So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD for those in the know) has started! It's great that I can use Andrea's laptop and facebook is fun but just doesn't take up that much time. I have been watching things on Netflix and that's been good too but none of that (except my book blog) has any real purpose. Life has to have purpose or it is meaningless!
So, realizing that I would feel that way, I signed up for some online, non-credit courses. I have been feeling like I would like to earn a little money at home sometime and have been considering my options, and have tailored my online classes to that purpose. Right now I am taking classes in Web Design, Anatomy and Physiology (in case I want to do medical transcription) and Computers for the Workplace-yes, I know that's not a home business sort of class but I thought it would be a good overview of computers since I have NEVER taken any sort of computer course.
I am finding that I like the web design class the best. The computer class is really basic so far and I find that I know more about computers than I had realized and the Anatomy class is probably my most challenging because I forgot all that stuff long ago, but really I like the web design because I can actually do something with it, right now, today. It has Purpose, and so do I!
We have to do a website as part of the class (makes sense, doesn't it?) and I would like to do a family website, but not for sharing with the teachers and the class, so I have decided to do a web site entitled "Heart of the Home" and put our family's favorite recipes on it. I am sure you all are just dying to see it but I haven't started it yet. Once I do I will let you all know and then you can help critique it, and contribute if you so desire. Should be fun!

A Woman of Leisure

Okay, I am now 6 days post surgery and am doing quite well. The surgery was not bad. They gave me an epidural in my leg which made it nice and numb and then gave me a sedative which made my mind nice and numb so I don't remember a thing about it. It was nice not to have general anesthesia although the sedative did make me feel nauseated. I only spent one night in the hospital (yeah!) and the nurses were good, and no roommate this time!
Getting home was not fun because I got sick in the car. The only thing I had was a paper bag and well, that didn't work very well. We live about 45 miles from the hospital so it was, um, a bit uncomfortable. Once we got home and got cleaned up and I managed to get up the stairs ( a feat in itself-bumping up on my behind and once I got to the top standing up was interesting) then everything has been fine.
I feel pretty good. Not much pain. I do take percocet but won't need it much longer. I don't have a standard cast yet. It's just a metal support for the back of my leg and foot which is heavily padded and wrapped with a bandage. It's very heavy and thick and I think I could knock someone out with it if I wanted. I can't put any weight on it and have to use a walker. I am supposed to be in bed with it elevated most of the time except for the 5 minutes every hour I am supposed to get up and walk around, except of course at night. That means that I have spent pretty much 138 hours out of the last 144 in bed. Probably even more than that because sometimes I forget to get up and move around. Yeah. Thank goodness Andrea lets me use her laptop.
Andrea is our nanny and supervisor and laundress and cook and shopper and chauffeur. She's tired. She is doing quite well but I don't think she's going to want to get married for awhile. Our branch is wonderful and is helping out with meals. (They are soooo good to us!) I think though, that it is probably good that I can't see how clean it is downstairs. It's just best that I don't think about it too much. We had an incident this morning where Garrett forgot about the waffles in the toaster and set off the smoke alarms. That was exciting. Emma was mad because they were her waffles but she forgave him. Mostly I just hear thuds and thumps and sometimes crying or yelling but that's all just normal in our house. Or maybe that percocet is just doing it's job because I feel pretty relaxed about it all :) and am enjoying the time to read and rest. We'll see how long that lasts...

Mother's Day

I cheated a bit with Mother's Day this year. Not only did I get breakfast in bed but lunch and dinner too!
Nothing like having ankle surgery to guarantee personal service on Mother's Day. Although even without the surgery my family does a great job making me feel special!
Some of the things that made me feel good yesterday:
Emma let me keep her blankies with me for a couple of hours.
Alyssa wrote a very sweet acrostic poem for me.
Garrett wrote a poem and sang the song that I didn't get to hear the primary sing in church.
Andrea and Diana brought me things and helped make dinner.
I got to have nice talks with both Jenna and Erica.
Dave gave me chocolate, and brought me food, and took care of kids.

I am truly blessed with a wonderful family!

Surgery

I am going to have surgery on Friday. I am not thrilled about this. In fact I am dreading it. I know that I will have a long recovery, that it involves a lot of pain for me and inconvenience for the family. It is an elective surgery, so you may wonder why I would want to go through it since I do have a choice? But for me there is no choice, I have to have the surgery. It all started back in September of 2006. (Sit back and relax, this is going to be long.)

We had recently moved to Massachusetts from Montgomery, Alabama where we had lived for 14 1/2 years. The move had been due to a new job for Dave, which was due to his being fired from his job in Montgomery, something he is still loathe to admit. It was a very difficult move. We hadn't sold our house in Montgomery yet despite many (Many!) open houses. Things kept breaking in the house after we put it on the market-sometimes the same thing broke multiple times, things like the ice machine, and the window in the laundry room kept leaking. We had problems with our realtor and had to find another one. Emma had just turned a year old in March and still needed lots of attention. Erica graduated from high school, Garrett was baptized, we had lots of soccer games, etc. while trying to sell the house. Life goes on! Dave had to leave for his new job in July so the rest of us were left behind to deal with things. It was a long hard hot summer and nothing seemed to be going very well.

By the time we got to moving day, I was just getting over bronchitis and was taking an antibiotic that made my mind race and made it difficult to sleep. Emma got a stomach bug and was throwing up all night. The movers seemed to be inept and extremely slow, they took forever. We had a severe thunderstorm move through as they were loading the truck (those of you in the South know what these are like) so they had to put everything in the garage until the next day. I had to stand in the laundry room with a towel held on the window sill while this was going on so that the rain that was pouring in wouldn't ruin our new paint job from the last time rain poured in.

So, we finally got on the road after saying goodbye to Jenna and Erica who would be flying to Provo the next day. I felt so bad that we couldn't take Erica out for her freshman year like we did with Jenna but it just couldn't be helped. That night we stayed in Charlotte NC and had the worst stomach flu I have ever had bar none. We all had it but Dave who got to stay up all night cleaning up after everyone. It was horrible and I felt so sorry for the hotel's housekeeping crew. We know it wasn't food poisoning because Jenna and Erica had it too and had to put off their plane flight for a day.

The one good thing to come out of everyone being sick is that there was NO fighting, whining, asking if we were there yet, etc. We looked like a bunch of dead bodies in the car. Two more days of driving got us to Massachusetts where we immediately started painting in the new house. We sent the 2 older girls off to girls camp and I started unpacking. We discovered that the movers really didn't know what they were doing and had packed our cases of honey badly. Yep, honey all over the place, even on my piano. Curses!

We had a couple of weeks before school started and spent it alternately trying to get the house settled and trying to comply with Massachusetts many rules and regulations. We got to know the nurses at the board of health pretty well.

The reason I am telling you all this background is so that you can understand all that we went through. We were finally feeling more settled and more relaxed about life. It had been a very long tough several months where I felt like I was slogging through mud the whole time. I was finally feeling like things were going to be okay.

We got everyone settled and school started and I could get the house put together. Whew! It felt good to be able to focus on the house! So I grabbed a box from the garage and started heading down to the basement with it. I guess I wasn't careful enough and shouldn't have been wearing sandals because the next thing I knew I am at the bottom of the stairs and my right foot isn't where it is supposed to be. Now that's a bit unsettling! I will spare you all the rest of the gory details but after a couple of surgeries and 5 very miserable days in the hospital I was able to come home.

Now we knew that with a 18-month-old child and me virtually bed-bound we were going to need some help. Fortunately we knew that a friend of ours, a 20-year-old BYU-I student, had the fall off. She was willing to come be our nanny for a few months and what a blessing that she was! She was so fun to have around, really made the adjustment to a new place easier for our teens, and did such a great job that we wanted to keep her permanently!

I was stuck in bed for several weeks, pretty heavily drugged most of the time but still really hurting! It hurt no matter what I did but I felt best lying down with my foot elevated. I could only sit up for about 15 minutes at a time before the pain was too much to bear. Nights were absolutely awful because I would wake up and hurt and just have to lie there and endure it. I had therapists who came to the house and gave me exercises to do. It took several weeks before I had a weight-bearing cast and could lose the walker. Then I could use crutches and get around a bit better.

After a month of that I got my lovely silver boot and could walk without crutches, yeah! Another month after that and I could start driving. Three months without driving! And I still had lots of physical therapy coming up-months of it-but at least I was able to function and take care of things.

That was 2 1/2 years ago. The physical therapy helped up to a point and then all progress just stopped. I have been hobbling and limping ever since. Sometimes I am able to walk fairly normally but first thing in the morning and after I have been sitting a little while and if I walk too much then I am back to hobbling around. I feel pain pretty much every day but not all day. Usually by night I am aching pretty badly. I can only take tylenol which doesn't really do much. Everything else gives me heartburn. The thing is, it's getting worse. I have arthritis in the joint and sometimes it feels like the bones are rubbing together. My doctor says that they probably are.

So, yeah, this surgery is major and the recovery is long but I have my reasons to go through it, namely:

1. No more pain

2. Be able to walk when I get out of bed

3. Be able to walk as much as I want without pain. I want to be able to go to Italy with Dave one of these days!

4. No more pain

So here we go. Two more days and then the whole process begins, Here's to (90%) Pain-Free Living!!

Congratulations Graduates!

Spencer and Erica with Spencer's mom Betsy Ricks. It was so nice to see her!

Jenna and Chris

Spencer just after receiving his diploma

Erica just after receiving her diploma

Awww! Matching outfits!

Dave, Betsy, and Erica

Mark Jackson and Erica

Jenna and Mark

Erica, Spencer, and Chris all graduated from BYU in April so Dave and I made the trip out to Utah to see them graduate and celebrate with them! It was very nice of them all to graduate at them same time. It made it much more convenient for us. To make it an even more efficient trip, Dave scheduled a business trip in Utah that week (work then paid for his plane ticket, verrry smart!).

Dave flew out on Tuesday and I flew out on Wednesday. The Metros (from our branch) were on the plane so it was nice to have a little company. Thursday we got to spend a little time with the Armitages who just moved to Utah from our branch. We also did a little shopping in the BYU bookstore (it's a must) and very fittingly ran into some old friends who used to live in Montgomery, the Dillons. I say fittingly because we ran into them in August when we were dropping Andrea off for her freshman year.

That evening was the Convocation in the Marriott center. For those who have never been there, the place is huge! and the seats are very uncomfortable. President Uchtdorf and Elder Russell M. Nelson both spoke. I remember that the talks were excellent but couldn't tell you what they said right now. We sat by the Mullens (Chris' family-Michael, Ann Marie, and Joseph). At one point Jenna and I looked down the row and everyone else was asleep. It really was good but you know...it was a little warm in there. We took pictures outside in the mad crush of people (see above) and then went off to dinner. Spencer's family (Mom Betsy, sister Rebecca and Grandpa Welby) and JoEllen all joined us for a wonderful and fun meal at Macaroni Grill. Spencer's and Chris' family hadn't met before this but they got along very well as I knew they would!

The next day was all Commencement, more than anyone would ever really want but we were very glad to be there. It was a total of 8 hours in the Marriott, yes those hard little chairs, starting at 8 am with Spencer's commencement, the College of Humanities. Spencer graduated with a degree in Spanish and will be attending law school in the fall, most likely at NYU. Next came Erica at 11 am. She graduated with a degree in Sociology, although officially she won't be finished until the end of spring term. She wants to get a master's in Social Work. We ran into Mark Jackson, a friend from Montgomery. He was Jenna's first prom date. We had a break for lunch and a little rest at Erica's place and then back to the Marriott for Chris' commencement. He received his Master's of Accountancy degree and will be working in Boston (yeah!) starting in August.

It was very interesting to compare the 3 commencements. The College of Humanities had the best student speech, she was really good. And probably the best music as well (big surprise) The best speech overall was Matt Holland's speech at the College of Home, Family, and Social Sciences commencement. He was great! Andrea had him for American Heritage this year and loved him. Too bad he's leaving to be the President of Utah Valley University.

We then split up-the Mullens to Salt Lake for a big meal with extended family but we decided to stay in Provo because it was getting late so I got to have my chimichanga. We left for home the next day but not without running into one more, or two more, familiar faces at the airport. The Moores, from our ward in Montgomery, had been in Utah for their son's graduation. So good to see them!

We had a great time in Utah and are very proud of the graduates!!